


Slam Dunk Marriage Prospects! (A.K.A. "Yes, I'm bored.")

by foodaddict



Category: Slam Dunk
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21975136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foodaddict/pseuds/foodaddict
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to marry someone fromSlam Dunk? Well then, this is for you!
Relationships: Maki Shinichi/Reader, Mitsui Hisashi/Reader, Rukawa Kaede/Reader, Sendoh Akira/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 22





	1. Akira Sendoh

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters in this work, who are the creation of Takehiko Inoue. Neither do I have any claim over his work in the manga and anime Slam Dunk. I do not earn any profit from this.
> 
> Hello guys! In anticipation of Takehiko Inoue releasing more Slam Dunk this coming April, I’ve decided to post my take on something I saw up on the web almost twenty years ago. I have no idea what happened to SD Princess’s original Marriage Prospects (I suspect it got taken down with all of the other tripod sites all those years ago), but since I could not find anything, I thought I’d give this a go. 
> 
> For those unfamiliar with the concept, it’s basically a prediction of what it would be like to marry a character from the show, i.e. if I were a matchmaker trying to find you someone and giving you information to consider.
> 
> This is in no way a complete recreation of the work I saw years ago, but my own interpretation of the concept. Part of the reason I wrote this is because I couldn’t find the site I was looking for, and I was so very desperate to reread it because it gave me so much enjoyment! So if you do know where the site’s gone, please do link me! 
> 
> I hope you find something to laugh about! I’ll be posting a chapter a week until this stops being funny, haha. Character requests are welcome!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's start with the guy you would kill for in real life, but who probably is too perfect to exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3

**AKIRA SENDOH**

**Birthday:** February 14

**Nickname/s:** None. He’s that cool.

**Affiliations:** Ryonan High School

**Appearance:** Sendoh is good-looking in a boyish, clean-featured way, with milky white skin and deep blue eyes. While we could certainly improve on his fashion sense—his black, spiky hair, in particular, has been the root of much debate—in face and form there really is nothing negative to be said about Sendoh. Not as stocky as Hanamichi Sakuragi but of sturdier build than Kaede Rukawa (though at 6’3” he is taller than both of them), Sendoh’s versatility on the basketball court speaks not just of his skill and talent, but inborn athleticism.

**Personality, Quirks of Note:** Sendoh strikes most people as extremely laid back and somewhat irresponsible outside of the basketball court. He is often late and enjoys activities like fishing. Incidentally, this hobby requires a person to have patience, stay relaxed, and pay attention all at the same time. These skills are reflected in Sendoh’s approach to basketball: while he genuinely does seem to play for the fun of it and goes into games with that enjoyment in mind, he does play to win. He revels in competition in the purest sense and is a good sport.

Ryonan Coach Taoka considered Sendoh to be prideful and sensitive when he first met him, which led to the assessment that Sendoh would benefit from praise rather than criticism. The coach was infamously wrong about this, as it turned out that Sendoh excelled regardless of praise or criticism, being self-assured and self-aware enough not to need encouragement, able to weather criticism well, and unlikely to let his accolades get to his head.

Sendoh likes lemons—a fact that has triggered endless interpretation.

**Finances:** Ryonan is a private school, and Sendoh is originally from Tokyo (a city with a notoriously high cost of living), so it’s safe to assume that Sendoh lives comfortably. There is no reason to think that he will not continue to do so. While he may be too easy-going to chase after the big bucks, he will certainly not slack off in his responsibilities, so any person shacking up with him should make any financial expectations clear from the get-go. If he doesn’t wind up reeling in the millions as a professional athlete, Sendoh would do well making a living in gardening or farming—anything that takes him out into nature, where he can relax and take things at his own pace.

**Family:** Sendoh would definitely be the perfect dad—steady enough to provide support and reassurance, chill enough to keep things fun and give children room to grow. As a spouse, he certainly seems like he makes the perfect partner. If his courtside play is anything to go by, he understands interpersonal dynamics well, and he can shift when necessary to ensure that the team gets where it needs to be. As long as he’s committed to you, you can rely on him to be there and push you along when it counts.

**Possible Rivals:** Legions of fans, the writer of this piece . . . this is not going to be an easy get.

**Overall Assessment:** Sendoh is the perfect guy—the type of guy that would inspire grown-ass women to write about how it would be like to be married to him, twenty-five years after being first introduced. If you manage to land this one, DO NOT LET HIM GO. And if you do, send him our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL. Feedback is very welcome.


	2. Kaede Rukawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you know who it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was some argument about whether this guy should come first, as he is the undisputed dreamboat of the series, but this Author follows no such rules. Hope you enjoy!

**Rukawa Kaede**

**Birthday:** January 1

**Nickname/s:** Kitsune (disputed)

**Affiliations:** Tomigaoka Junior High, Shohoku High School, All Japan Team

**Appearance:** Rukawa is famously good-looking, inspiring legions of girls to don the white-and-pink uniform of his (unauthorized) cheering squad. An inch and a half over six feet, he is lean and long-limbed—the kind of guy you might imagine strutting down a runway if he wasn’t running around a basketball court. With black hair and dark blue eyes eyes set against ivory skin, Rukawa’s features are so fine that the worst criticism to have been heard on the subject (from a bitterly jealous rival) is the comparison to a fox.

**Personality, Quirks of Note:** Unlike many of his contemporaries, Rukawa only comes alive on the basketball court. Off it, the boy is either asleep or riding around aimlessly on his bicycle, listening to music. (Footage has been found to support the claim that he rides around aimlessly on his bicycle _while_ asleep.) Much discussion has gone into how to get Rukawa engaged, and the consensus is that he needs to be properly enraged. Rukawa is impervious to everything except irritation: unless he’s arguing with his teammate, Sakuragi, he really doesn’t have much to say. When he does open his mouth unprompted, it’s often to say something succinct and bitchy in Sakuragi’s direction.

Planning is not really Rukawa’s strong point. Recall that he only enrolled at Shohoku because it was near his house, despite efforts from other schools—with stronger basketball teams—to recruit him. A more ambitious player (say, Maki Shinichi) would have made the necessary adjustments to hedge his chances of coming out on top. Rukawa also conceived of the notion that he should move to the United States in order to really play ball. Thankfully, he is willing to be advised by those with more experience and foresight, so he doesn’t get himself into too much trouble.

Rukawa is certainly arrogant, but not in the in-your-face, blustery way that Sakuragi is famous for. He is confident enough in his talent and skills to actually believe that he can carry a whole team and control a game—and since he manages to do that most of the time, his instincts are not far-off. His indifference to his teammates is not prideful or haughty, but stems from the earnest conviction that it doesn’t matter who he’s playing with because the game revolves on how he performs. On the rare occasion that he does fail to carry his team through, Rukawa takes it very hard, because he sees it as a personal failure. This makes him a poor sport.

Rukawa likes cats—ironic, since they are the only creatures who are more indifferent to people who like them than him.

**Finances:** Rukawa does have some nifty stuff, suggesting he is better off than some despite going to a public school. He also seriously considered moving to the United States, which suggests that he may not have much to worry about in terms of logistics. (Or, again, he may just be a _really bad planner.)_ Rukawa will almost certainly pursue a career as a professional athlete, so finances should not be a cause for concern, provided his funds are managed well. (By someone other than Rukawa.)

**Family:** While Rukawa doesn’t give off a very nurturing vibe (on account of the self-absorption and general indifference), his interactions with his juniors does suggest that he isn’t broken on the inside; his heart and humanity are definitely working and are in place—he just doesn’t access them as often. As a partner, Rukawa seems to be the kind of person who will only like a person to the extent that he respects them; i.e. if Sakuragi weren’t as good of an athlete as he is, Rukawa would actually dismiss him as a moron (as opposed to only calling him a moron in order to rile him). An older partner who can guide him with sensible advice may also possibly work, provided they were fine with shepherding this sleepyhead along as part of the romantic dynamic. As a parent, there are aspects in which he will need prodding so that he is not neglectful, but if you’re having kids with this guy, what are the chances that you end up with a miniature of him? (Who will therefore need very little parenting provided they get their way.)

**Possible Rivals:** Other than his hordes of fan-girls, you may need to look in Sakuragi’s direction. Not that Sakuragi would be so inclined (what with the ongoing and possibly perpetual infatuation with Haruko Akagi), but he is one of the few people who can really hold Rukawa’s attention. Take notes!

**Overall Assessment:** Incredibly good-looking, so if looks are all that matter, this should be a no-brainer. Finding chemistry with someone who is only interested in one thing (especially when it’s not _that thing)_ is another issue entirely, so unless you’re good at basketball and have the ability to get under his skin and get him to pay attention to you, this may be one that’s better admired from afar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much-appreciated!


	3. Hisashi Mitsui

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's everyone's favorite bad boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was a popular request! Thanks for all the support for this series, you guys! I’m so glad the Slam Dunk fandom is still alive and kicking!

**Mitsui Hisashi**

**Birthday:** May 22

**Nickname/s:** “Mit-chan,” “Mitchi,” “Sportsman,” and “Lady-boy” (prior to haircut)

**Affiliations:** Shohoku High School, Takeishi Junior High

**Appearance:** Mitsui is perhaps the original “Shohoku Bad Boy,” and his appeal certainly lies in that direction. Good-looking despite the perpetually sharp look in his dark eyes, furrowed brow, scar on his chin, and a few missing teeth, Mitsui would probably make a killing as a model if he was ever so inclined. (Even people in the middle of bashing Mitsui with metal bars have remarked on the beauty of Mitsui’s hands, so . . . make of that what you will.) While most agree that he looks much better with his black hair clipped short, there are a number of fans of his shiny black lob, so there is a versatility to his looks that give him the advantage of being hot under most circumstances. 

Mitsui is lean and well-built, but not as solidly as some members of his team. At half an inch over six feet, there isn’t much difference between him and, say, Kaede Rukawa in terms of height, but Mitsui clearly does not have as much power on the court. That being said, Mitsui has the advantage in terms of play, with widely admired form and elegance whenever he plays his ideal position as shooting guard.

Perhaps due to his lifestyle (smoking, drinking, and who knows what else) in the two years he was away from the basketball court, Mitsui is not as in shape as most athletes. He is easily fatigued and suffers from anemia.

He also has constitutionally weak teeth, so if you guys are thinking of kids, start saving up for their dental—especially if they inherit Mitsui’s personality.

**Personality, Quirks of Note:** Mitsui is a guy’s guy—quick with a laugh, quicker to lose his temper. His closest relationships are with other tough guys, and this is reflected most strongly in how Mitsui communicates: no bullshit, let’s cut to the chase. Unfortunately, this approach doesn’t really parse the nuances of human emotions—and boy can Mitsui feel those emotions. Being unable to process his feelings in a healthy way can make Mitsui act out in frustration, sometimes violently. (Important sidenote: there is evidence to show that Mitsui can hit women. Though the incident reported did not involve a romantic partner, this matchmaker is compelled to include this information because it might be a deal-breaker—oh it’s not? Okay then. Let’s proceed.)

Despite his tough exterior, Mitsui has an intense desire to be loved, supported, and needed. He abandoned basketball for two years and ran around being a delinquent because he felt that Akagi had supplanted him as the heart of Shohoku’s team. (Yes, he suffered a knee injury that took him out of commission during a critical time, but the observant will note that it wasn’t his temporary inability to play that made Mitsui walk away.)

Those who have had enduring impact in his life are those who have come through for him emotionally in critical moments, e.g. Coach Anzai. Once Mitsui is able to get in touch with what he’s feeling, understand it, and channel it in a healthy way, he becomes truly formidable. This is most evident in high-pressure situations or when Mitsui is pushed to his physical limits. Above all else, Mitsui is guided by his emotions and those who help him manage those emotions: he followed Coach Anzai to Shohoku, eschewing more prestigious and high-performing schools like Kainan, Shoyo, and Ryonan. In other words, this is a guy who won’t really care as much about how you look or what you do in comparison to how you make him feel. 

Mitsui is intensely competitive, and will play dirty in order to come out on top. He has a keen understanding of his strengths and weaknesses, and will maneuver situations in such a way that the fight is fought on his terms. Elements of this bleed into his personal life as well: again, Mitsui wants to be needed and loved. It isn’t enough that he is the team’s star, or that he keeps winning: he needs to be the most adored, the most needed. (Like a lot of people with a star-complex.)

Mitsui gets constipated when he’s nervous, much to the amusement of his friends and teammates.

**Finances:** While Shohoku is a public school, Mitsui isn’t destitute—I mean, _someone_ had to pay for all that dental work. Plus he walks around the court with branded high-end sports gear, so it looks like he has money to burn. Mitsui flourishes in competition, and he really loves basketball, so he will likely pursue it professionally. As he matures, he may also look into coaching, as he does well at directing his teammates when he’s off the court.

Outside of that, he’d probably make a pretty good stockbroker. He likes high-pressure, intensely competitive situations, has really sharp instincts that steer him right, and is ballsy enough to take on really big risks with very slim chances. Sure, you’d probably have to push him through business school, but if you manage to get Coach Anzai to bring it up, it shouldn’t be a problem.

**Family:** Mitsui has a contentious relationship with his own family, so expect him to be bringing baggage of that nature into your own family life. His default grumpiness and emotional volatility may mean that his partner will have to be the stable one in the relationship and make sure that Mitsui avoids transmitting his issues to the kids.

With the right partner—i.e. someone more emotionally mature, patient, and self-aware—Mitsui may grow into a measured, loving, and supportive parent, so it is this matchmaker’s suggestion that he and his partner not have kids right away and just let Mitsui acclimate to his role as husband before taking on the bigger role of family man. This may take a beat longer than expected. Because of Mitsui’s needs and insecurities, he does have a tendency towards jealously—and while this is undeniably hot (yes, I can hear everyone fanning themselves at the thought of Mitsui the Jealous Husband), it can take its toll on any relationship over the long term.

**Possible Rivals:** Kogure. Or anyone who can offer as much emotional satisfaction as Kogure. Remember that Mitsui is a bad boy with a tender heart, so if you want to keep him you have to realize that the biggest threats to your relationship aren’t random hotties, but people who fulfil him emotionally.

**Overall Assessment:** Everyone loves a bad boy, and Mitsui is one of those bad boys who makes you understand why that trope continues to live. He is certainly worth the effort, but anyone making a go of it with him should understand the amount of effort required. An ideal partner would be someone not enamored with the idea of a bad boy, but a clear-eyed, grown-up partner who knows what they’re getting and loves him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That psychology minor in uni really came in handy while I was writing this, hahaha. Let me know what you think!


	4. Shinichi Maki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you don't already get it, you will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next to Sendoh, this is the guy I’d probably want to date in real life—but unlike Sendoh, I’m not sure I’d marry him. (Also, more relevantly: whether he’d want to date me is another question entirely, hahahaha.) Enjoy!

**Shinichi Maki**

**Birthday:** August 15

**Nickname/s:** Ji (Disputed)

**Affiliations:** Kainan Auxiliary School

**Appearance:** While he’s been called “old man” or “Gramps” by certain disrespectful rivals, Maki _is_ a good-looking guy. Swarthier than the other hotties hanging around the basketball court, he has that whole “older sexy guy” vibe going for him. (Read: if you have a daddy kink, Maki could really be your best bet.) He even has the traditional “hot person” beauty mark under his left eye, so obviously his creator was referencing a very 90s kind of sex appeal: dark-haired, dark-eyed, olive-skinned stunners with built-in smolders. (The original matchmaker for the _Slam Dunk_ crew, SD Princess, mentioned “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred in connection with Maki, and I have not been able to disassociate those two since.)

Though his skill and abilities have defined him as an incredible point guard, Maki stands at half an inch over six feet and is solidly built enough to play a center on the court, standing up to the likes of Takenori Akagi, Akira Sendoh, and Hanamichi Sakuragi. As captain of Kainan’s famed basketball team, Maki didn’t just survive the school’s punishing training regimen: he owned and distinguished himself at it. Read: this is a guy who has that body because he really worked for it.

Think of how well-conditioned that makes him.

Do it.

_Think about it._

(Yes, I’m sweating, too.)

Generally well-dressed, even on his off days, Maki really leans into the hot rich guy trope, so if that’s another item on your list, _ding dong,_ darling.

**Personality, Quirks of Note:** Maki has been called “Kanagawa’s No. 1 Player” for most of his high school basketball career—and it’s something he’s completely comfortable with. He has been given the official distinction of Most Valuable Player for two years in a row and since he plays for a school that has been undefeated for 17 years, being a winner is something deeply ingrained in Maki’s identity and personality. This is a guy who takes himself very seriously—and if you’re going to be his partner, you should, too.

Maki is generally composed, with just a hint of self-assurance and cockiness peeking through his reserve. He has no issues with carrying responsibility and works well under pressure, accepting that only the great can be expected to bear such burdens. Like many in Kainan Auxiliary, he has learned that foundations are important and there is no getting around mastering them if one wishes to be exceptional, so his remaining in the team and becoming its captain speaks to his high regard for discipline and commitment.

That being said, Maki does not necessarily have a pure approach to basketball. His aim, always, is to win and come out on top—no matter what it takes. He famously instructed a teammate to trick an opponent into fouling out of a game, so there is a ruthlessness to Maki that should never be ignored. He will play dirty if he has to.

Perhaps because he is so used to deference, Maki has no ready response for irreverence. When Shohoku’s Sakuragi accused Kainan of bringing in an alumnus (i.e. Maki) to play during the match, Maki’s stone-faced reply was that Shohoku Captain Akagi looked much older than him. To his credit, Maki has never lost his cool despite repeated instances of similar disrespect (Sakuragi’s friends once mistook him to be the coach of Kainan).

**Finances:** Kainan Auxiliary is a private school affiliated with Kainan University (hence the “Auxiliary” title) and is well-regarded as a prestigious institution. Maki strolls around in a suit and tie that turns out to be the school uniform, so there is a definite prep school vibe that speaks to the state of Maki’s family finances.

Even setting that aside, again: Maki is a winner. Whatever he decides to do, he will probably claw his way to the top of and start reeling in boatloads of cash and influence. Considering his present accolades, he would definitely excel as a professional athlete. Otherwise, his presence, leadership ability, intelligence, and ruthlessness do suggest that he would be a shoe-in for a career in business or in law. (Also because those jobs put men in suits, and we already know how good Maki looks in those.)

**Family:** Maki is good at getting people to follow his lead and sets a good example, so it is likely that he will make a great family man. As a parent he will be strict (judging from his interactions with younger, unruly members of his team), but not so overly critical that he will cow or terrify your children. He is discerning enough to know whether praise or a scolding (or a quick rap on the head) is the best for the situation and person in question. He also handles pressure really well, so he’ll likely have no real problem juggling a career and family responsibilities.

It should be borne in mind, however, that Maki has almost a fetish for excellence: the people around him have to be amazing, or working towards being amazing, in order to keep up with him. (As he said to a freshman struggling with their training: “You don’t have to force yourself. There are plenty to replace you if you can’t do it.”) Expect him to have high expectations of you and your children and know that balancing out those expectations will fall on you.

**Possible Rivals:** Maki inspires intense hero-worship from many who work closely with him (i.e. Nobunaga Kiyota) and equally intense feelings of envy or hatred from those who consider themselves his rivals. While these emotions are strong enough to shift into something else, there are no standout candidates for his affections at present.

**Overall Assessment:** An _amazing_ catch—if you can manage it. Maki is the perfect guy to brag about to your 1,000+ social media “friends” and the catty relatives who always wonder (to your face) why you’re still single/never able to hold on to a man. Just remember: he has to be able to brag about you, too, so _make some effort._ As great as he is, he can’t make up a power couple by himself. In other words: if you want to score a Beyoncé, you need to be a Jay-Z.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still fanning myself.


End file.
